10) Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.
9) Rosen and Delapa certify that they are bona fide film reviewers, don't write in their pajamas, and haven't set up shop in their parents' basements.
8) Read by more Oompa-Loompas than any other film website.
7) Not affiliated with NASCAR, Fox News, Donald Trump, Ultimate Fighting Championship, American Idol, women's pro basketball, TMZ, Goldman Sachs, the Taliban, BP, The View, or Jerry Bruckheimer Films.
6) For every dollar pledged, a matching amount will be donated to The Human Fund (Seinfeld Episode #166).
5) Best reason to rush to read Facebook, next to seeing friends tagging themselves in snapshots.
4) No animals were harmed writing these reviews.
3) Taste great and less filling.
2) Act now and get a free set of Ginsu steak knives!
1) It's now the law, comrades, thanks to Obamacare's Big Brother socialist mandate.
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